Top 10: Places You Shouldn't Park the Company Truck
10. NEAR A GOLF COURSE
Have you ever been to a golf course? The majority of people are god awful. To their credit, though, they are relentless in their pursuit to get better. You are just asking for one of their hundred errant shots on the day to come crashing through your windshield. Who do you think is going to pay for that?
9. AT THE US-MEXICO BORDER
Assuming you don’t get pulled over in your truck and questioned by Border Patrol under the suspicion of being a drug runner, then there’s a likely chance that once parked, one of the cartels is going to hijack your truck for that very reason. Good luck getting home, amigo!
8. AT A STRIP CLUB
Will you have a good excuse for your boss when a customer calls to complain that they saw a company truck parked outside of the Bunny Ranch at 10:30 in the morning? You better. Just tell the head honcho that you had a doctor appointment with Destiny. Dr. Destiny sounds pretty legit.
7. IN THE BOSS’S RESERVED SPOT
Don’t go out of your way to find new and creative ways to piss off your boss. That is to say, don’t park in his specially marked spot in the morning, no matter how funny you think it might be.
6. AT A BAR
What do people do at a bar? Drink. What do people get busted for when they leave a bar in a car? Drinking and driving. Don’t be the company goat that gets busted for a DUI in a company truck. A good way to avoid the temptation of drinking on the job is to never park near a bar. Well … maybe one won’t hurt…
5. IN YOUR RIVAL’S PARKING LOT
Imagine yourself as a UPS truck driver who’s getting ready to leave the company lot, but at the last second you catch the glimpse of a parked FedEx truck. What’s your first reaction going to be? That’s right, coming up with a creative prank to make that driver’s life just a little bit harder.
4. WHERE YOU CAN SEE GRAFFITI
If you park your truck and are amazed at all of the graffiti on the walls and signs in the area, there’s a good chance that one of those little taggers already marked your truck up with spray paint. And nobody, especially your boss, wants to deal with getting that crap removed.
3. OUTSIDE OF THE CEO’S HOUSE
If the first thing your CEO sees when he pulls onto his street is one of his own company trucks, there is a likely chance this thought will cross his mind: My wife is getting down with one of the delivery boys. You better have a damn good excuse when he comes barging in the door. Uhh … she tripped?
2. IN THE WRONG PART OF TOWN
Sometimes a delivery to the wrong part of town (i.e. the ghetto) is unavoidable, so the best thing you can do is get in, out and on your way as fast as possible. Thieves are crafty SOBs and will take any opportunity they can to steal your cargo. Be aware of your surroundings and don’t fall for any distractions.
Nothing spells ‘leave of absence’ like calling up your manager to tell him that you just received a parking ticket in the company truck. Has anything ever good come from parking your truck illegally, even if it’s only for a minute? No. The fine meter maids of the world hunt illegal parkers like you down for sport. They never give breaks, even if you plead with them for a break “just this once.” They will slip the ticket under your windshield wiper with a certain sense of accomplishment, and you get to send $50 of your hard-earned money to the local courthouse. Your coworkers will never let you live this one down either. So don’t park near signs that say NO PARKING. Don’t park in handicapped zones. And you should certainly be aware of those days designated for those pesky street sweepers. Nobody wants a ticket, especially in the company truck.
Top 10 air freight carriers
10. Cargolux Group
The Luxembourgish freight carrier Cargolux Group (comprised of Cargolux Airlines and Cargolux Italia, established in 2008) remained in the number 10 spot, with a total reported FTK (Freight Tonne Kilometer) equaling 7.45 bn, which represents a 7.7% expansion year-over-year. The carrier group currently operates a fleet of 30 aircraft (26 through Cargolux Airlines and an addition four through Cargolux Italia), primarily variants of the Boeing 747.
9. Korean Air
Headquartered in Seoul, Korean Air provides cargo and passenger services to over 100 destinations in 44 countries. The carrier fell from eighth place in the previous year’s rankings, with a total FTK of 7.66 bn, representing a 7.1% decrease year-over-year. Korean Air reported a net revenue of $10.7bn in 2017, also reporting a return to profitability for the first time in five years, according to Forbes.
8. Air France-KLM
The Air France-KLM freight carrier group was founded in 1947. The group is comprised of Air France, KLM, and Martinair, and is based in Paris, France. Falling from seventh place in the Freight 50 rankings, the carrier reported a total FTK of 8.13 bn, which represents a 9.2% decrease in traffic year-over-year. The group reported a net revenue of $29.08bn at the end of 2017 and is ranked #28 on Forbes Magazine’s list of Best Employers.
7. Qatar Airways
Qatar Airways, the nationally owned airline of the Kingdom of Qatar is based in Doha, and ascended two places in the Freight 50 rankings, with a total FTK of 9.22 bn, representing a 19.6% increase in comparison to the previous financial year. The carrier’s Cargo division recently launched facilities at its hub in Doha to provide a “Seamless Cool Chain”, comprised of a “2,470 square metres Climate Control Centre situated at the airside… equipped with segregated temperature-controlled sections for storing pharmaceuticals and perishables.” This end-to-end supply chain control is expected to further improve Qatar’s standing as a leader of Middle Eastern air freight.
6. Lufthansa Group
Based in Cologne, Germany, the Lufthansa Group (comprised of Lufthansa, Swiss, Austrian, and Brussels Airlines) fell from the fourth position in the Freight 50, with a combined FTK of 9.46 bn. While this represents a 1.6% increase in traffic, year-over-year, the carrier was forced down the list by drastic growth from other German freight company, DHL. According to Forbes, Lufthansa’s revenue and net profits ($41.5 bn and $2.78 bn, respectively) in 2017 are both the highest reported by the company over a ten-year period.
5. Cathay Group
The Cathay Group (composed of Cathay Pacific Airlines and Dragonair) is headquartered in Hong Kong and its Cargo division accounts for 21% of the airline’s total revenue. The company’s first dedicated cargo flight between Hong Kong, Frankfurt, and London, was established in 1981, according to the official site. Now, Cathay Pacific’s Cargo Division services over 47 destinations worldwide. The carrier fell from the fourth position on the Freight 50 ranking, as its total FTK fell by 3.6%, to 10.21 bn. According to Forbes, Cathay Pacific experienced a second year of unprofitability, although the airline’s asset portfolio reached a record high in 2017, with a net value of $24.1bn.
4. DHL Express Group
Operating as the largest European carrier group, DHL Express Group (composed of DHL Air, DHL International, Air Hong Kong, Polar Air Cargo, ABX Air, Southern Air, Aerologic, and EAT Leipzig) rose two positions in the Freight 50 rankings. The carrier reported a total FTK of 10.56 bn, which represents an increase of 15.1% year-over-year. In 2018, at the Farnborough Air Show, DHL Express announced the purchase of 14 Boeing 777s, part of a new strategy to modernise its fleet.
3. UPS Airlines
Headquartered in Atlanta, Georgia, UPS Airlines is part of United Parcel Service, Inc. Founded in 1908, UPS is the oldest company in the Top Ten, and retained third place in the Freight 50 rankings, with a total FTK of 11.26 bn. This represents a 3.9% increase year-over-year. The Company as a whole reported a net revenue of $67.7 bn, according to Forbes, representing a continuation of a ten-year trend of continuous growth. Forbes also ranks UPS among the world’s top 100 most-innovative companies, and the world’s top 50 most-valuable brands.
2. Emirates Skycargo
The state-owned air freight carrier for the UAE, Emirates Skycargo remains in second place on the Freight 50, with a total FTK of 12.27 bn, representing a 0.4% decrease year-over-year. The carrier’s central hub in Dubai allows its 259-strong fleet to reach over 1.5 bn consumers in under eight hours. Current purchasing plans are underway for Emirates Skycargo to almost double its fleet size. According to Albawaba, “In response to increasing demand from its customers, Emirates SkyCargo introduced a range of air transport solutions specific to industry verticals including Emirates Pharma, Emirates Wheels and Emirates Fresh.” Emirates Wheels has transported close to 150 cars per month since the program’s inception.
1. FedEx Express
Founded in 1998, FedEx Express is both the youngest and largest air freight carrier worldwide, with a total FTK of 15.71 bn. Haulage decreased by 0.9% year-over-year, while revenue increased to $60.5 bn in 2016, and again to $63.8 bn in 2017, continuing an eight-year growth trend. FedEx employs 395,000 members of staff, with FedEx Express operating across twelve transport hubs globally. The carrier purchased an additional 24 Boeing 777 variants in 2018, maintaining their company’s position as the largest airline in terms of cargo haulage.